OK - so I must be a bit mad. Last year I go tired of my Honda Accord 2.0 VTEC. In fact I got tired of it as soon as I bought it. Why - because it was just so good it was boring.
It was big enough for 2 adults, 3 kids and a dog.
It went pretty fast with a 2.0 vtec.
It handled OK for a front wheel drive.
It looked OK.
It sounded OK.
It never broke down.
Everything worked perfectly - It obeyed the law of least surprise.
It was just boring.
So in a fit of madness I decided to downgrade to a Land Rover. Ideally I fancied a Defender 90 (the short 1) with 7 seats (known in the trade as a CSW). However, my wife told me she was not having a tractor parked in the driveway.
This didn't really put me off. She tells me a lot of stuff and I don't listen to that either.
What did put me off was the price - boy do those things hold their value. 2K will maybe buy one that's about 20 years old!
So instead I opted for the slightly more up marked and cheaper Disco.
I don't piss about when buying something. Spotted one on EBay, bid on it, took a plane to Newcastle, handed over Dosh, Drove towards Ferry, got puncture, realised no Jack, rang AA, managed to lose wheel nut key, got wheel changed, missed ferry, got in at 7am, got new tyre, went to work.
Summary
Only buy one if your mechanically minded and a bit mad.
Pros
- Big enough to fit loads of kids, dogs, luggage and tow things
- Disco 1's can run on bio-diesel or vegetable oil which are both cheaper and carbon neutral - which annoys the crap out of any Green friends you might have who drive an elastic band powered match box. Mind you, according to Not Jeremy Clarkson, the best way to annoy Greens is to punch them.
- People let you out and get out of your way
- Old enough so people don't think your a bit of t055er - or maybe they do
- To big for wife to drive
Cons
- Drinks fuel in town - but can get 37mpg on a good run
- Leaks
- Electrics were designed and assembled by a man who fallen through a time warp from 1820
- Built by a bunch of idiots who were managed by a bunch of idiots who managed to turn the British car industry from world beating to crap in 30 short years and then sold it to India for 50p.
So this is Britain summarised in a car. In the late 80's a bunch of guys in British Leyland thought it would be a good idea to build an up market 4X4 for the middle classes to fit between the Land Rover's that had been used by farmers, soldiers and everyone living in Africa for years on end and the Range Rovers used by toffs to run plebs over.
How could they go wrong - they had a massively famous brand and a great market.
So they took the Range Rover chassis and bunged in the Land Rover innards, got some fancy styling and bingo. Car looks great - does pretty well off road and can pull and carry just about anything.
And then it started to rain and water leaked in through the windows.
Someone pushed a button and bits of circuit board melted.
They pushed on the brakes and the ABS warning light came on and stayed on.
All the lights stopped working on the way home and they crashed and the car industry was bought for scrap by India.
Maybe I've been spoilt by driving Japanese cars previous to this but here's my faults so far:
- Windows leak and cause rust holes in boot - fixed with sealant
- ABS brake light comes on and I have to re-program computer to turn it off. 3 mechanics/auto electricians were unable to fix this or simply refused to look at it!
- Gearbox graunches between first and second
- Light bulbs literally fall out as you're driving along and you have to push them back in each time you stop
- Alternator burnt out.
I could go on.
I bet none of its Japanese rivals leak!
I actually love this car - but I wouldn't recommend buying one unless your a bit mad.
Subscribe