Breakfast

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Since I was the nominated driver, I had stopped drinking early – but still felt pretty wrecked – probably from all the planking I did the night before.

Nice drive up to Dingle up Conor pass. 

Dingle was a bit desolate and not as nice as I remembered it – everything was shut and we wondered around an hour or so before finding a spot for tea.

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After a bacon bap and a shower John headed us along the coast from Westport and then we cut in through some stunning countryside, passed lots of wild rhubarb.

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We woke at 4 am with old mans bladder and then again at 6:45 – as this seems to be the time John normally gets up.

We quickly packed the tent and then blagged free coffee, use of toilets in Jackson’s and got an early start to the day – picking up our challenges and heading off at 8.

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We started a the day with jaunt up the North coast.  I suggested a detour passed Torr head – that was not too popular – burning brakes and general moaning.

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‘After a few beers set off for John’s and Martin’s.

And after a short wait we were off

Like all professional sports teams, the top beer rally team understand the importance of preparation.  Race preparation for an international motoring event, such as the scally rally, involves four key areas:

• Scrutineering to ensure driver and spectator safety
• Decoration so the car not only looks good but satisfies sponsors' advertising requirements
• Mechanical preparation for maximum performance and reliability
• Logistics so driver, navigator and mechanic have everything they require for the arduous journey

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On paper this should be no contest.  Germany’s engineering excellence and manufacturing efficiency takes on a  bucket of rust designed on the back of a fag paper and built from leftover bits by a bunch of inept Trotskyites from Birmingham.

But paper can also be used in the toilet.

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A regular scan of gumtree had failed to find us a suitable motor for the scally rally so when I spotted a fellow competitor wanting to offload a gorgeous looking Metro I contacted him straight away.

- fly

Having agreed terms (£100) all that remained was to arrange transport from Worcester to Belfast. 

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After a winter break the lure of the open road, the smell of sweat and cooking engines, diet of beer, ham baguettes  and barbequed meat just cannot be resisted anymore.  So this year it looks like Cork is the destination.  This time we’re doing the Scally Rally Ireland.

Journey wise this should be a bit easier than last years epic journey to Barcelona, as there’s a log less miles, seas and mountains between Belfast and Cork.  I have heard of the Cork and Kerry mountains – but I’m not sure how they compare to the Alps.

On the downside though – this rally’s price limit for car is £100.  That’s right ONE HUNDRED POUNDS and I’m not downgrading from the Mercedes, so if anyone knows of a luxury car for sale for less than £100 with good MOT – give us a shout.