Following on from the excellent advice “Take a Monday off and get two days holiday for free", I thought I’d share another gem.

“Always take your own bomb on the plane”.

Pelé, Sweden.

Sounds a bit mad at first, but really makes perfect sense.  The chances of there being a bomb on a plane is, as everybody knows, incredibly small.  So, what are the chances of there being two?

Disclaimer:

THIS IS A JOKE AND NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY EITHER BY TRAVELERS OR SECURITY FORCES!

I put this last bit in as I know there have been some paranoid actions over the last years.

“After a weeks holiday, always take the Monday off as you get three extra days holiday for the price of one.”

Anonymous

I heard this but it wasn’t until later in the day it struck me how wise it was. 

When you finish on a Friday you’re on holiday, but the last weekend of a holiday is just the weekend as you’re back to work on Monday.  But if you take the Monday off, you’re still on holiday!

I don’t do the national lottery.  I used to say it was a tax on the stupid but now I think the whole thing is just a con.  I think it’s been going for about 15 years so that means just the main lottery should have created at least 780 millionaires if it creates one a week.

Now, I believe there is now more than on draw a week so I think there should be about 1000 people who have won a million.

I must know directly or through a 3 levels of contact a lot of people.

Lets say I know 100 people and each one of those knows another 100 and each one of them knows another 100.  That’s 1,000,000 people or a million to you.  Now there are only about 60 million people in the UK.  So I should know someone who knows someone who knows someone who’s won the lottery -  if you know what I mean.

But I don’t.

Why not?  Well its a con made up by them and the people they wheel out are actors or maybe once a year or so they actually let a real person win.

Other than that – must be a fix.  Lets face it – there’s some serious money involved so its bound to be.

I walk my dog a couple of times a day through the woods at the end of our road or around the Cave Hill from Belfast castle.  I see rabbits all the time – lot’s of them.  Big ones running around.  My dog makes some half baked attempt at chasing them as he probably knows they’ll taste a lot better than the dried rabbit flavoured food he gets at home. 

It occurred to me this morning that I’ve never seen any people chasing them.  All over new year we hear how poor people have become this year.  My heart bled for the guy on the radio from Donegal who was not only having his dole cut from €200 to €100 a week but was going to be taxed more on diesel for his car too! 

There’s loads of wood lying around too.  I’ve heard loads about fuel poverty on the radio and whilst I’ve every sympathy for a pensioner who can’t heat there houses because Gordon raided their pension scheme – I have little sympathy for people who seem unable to get dressed to leave the house.  Maybe they don’t need fuel because cigarettes and PJ’s keep them warm.

Seems strange that we have tanks of oil in our gardens that’s been transported half way across the world and yet on our doorstep is a source of renewable CO2 neutral fuel that doesn’t involve sending soldiers out into the desert to get killed.

So – if anyone knows how to easily catch, kill and prepare rabbit me know.  A couple of them would feed my family and I could stew them on a my fire burning free wood.

Since I often cycle to work I spend a lot of time at the front of traffic lights.  During rush hour periods or during the day I can see how they help with the overall traffic flow.

What I don’t understand is why they don’t get turned off outside peak periods or at night?

This morning I left for work at 7:15.  I must have had to stop at three or four sets of lights with absolutely no other traffic on the road!